July 27, 2005

FEEDBACK: Extreme Divorce

Here's a great response I received regarding the Extreme Divorce post. And wow, it's from a MALE PERSPECTIVE!

Right on, Michelle!! I've never been married and I also happen to be male...so perhaps it may seem that I don't have an opinion in this matter (not by you, just in general). But I do because I feel I represent a faction of males who respect and support women and abhors any man who degrades females because of ridiculous ignorant machismo.


Kathy is in her right to be upset with the level of disregard her ex-husband may have had for her. But her unrealistic proposal of getting a paycheck from her husband only PERPETUATES antiquated gender politics. There are terms that get thrown around even to this day..."A REAL man does this..." and "A REAL woman is that..." and this disgusts me to no end. Nothing turns me off more than a woman who does NOT know how to take care of herself as a responsible adult and specifically looks for a man to be "the man"...to take care of her, which just sadly adds to the level of superiority that many men already have. And conversely I would never expect a woman to respect me if I couldn't take care of myself as well. Men AND women should know how to cook, clean, raise children (if they choose to have them, that is), manage their money and be respectful of each other.


The bottom line is that we cannot define ourselves through someone else. Kathy cannot blame her ex-husband for not taking care of her properly, which is what her real gripe seems to be regardless of the issue of basic respect. Her greatest reward from this experience, in my opinion, would be to start a new life for herself (perhaps much easier said than done, I realize) that would someday make her realize that her place in this world...either single or married...is worth more than $500,000...that it's priceless. As you put it, she should cut her losses and work on moving on.

-Tony Piscotti, Chicago, IL

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