MISSING CANADIAN STUDENT NADIA KAJOUJI FOUND--SUICIDE

As I've written before in other posts (See HERE and HERE), Nadia's story hits home to me...it hits VERY hard. It hurts my heart, my stomach, my brain. I have/had family members commit suicide who have struggled with mental illness their entire lives...all ultimately ending in their early and unnecessary demise.


I personally understand the toll it takes on a person and the pain they go through. There are always signs...they DO cry out for help, but untrained people don't recognize these signs. I certainly DO NOT blame anyone in Nadia's life for not seeing these things, but I understand how it happens.

Suicide is different from murder. A family of a murder victim has to grieve in a different way than a family whose loved one takes their life. I wrote a post a few weeks ago about a University of Michigan Student Rylan Cotter, who was found dead, and was ultimately discovered that she had taken her own life.

Depression or Bipolar Disorder?

Depression and bipolar disorder go hand in hand. They are different illnesses, yet they are the very similar. In bipolar disorder one may feel "manic"...on top of the world. No one sees that as a problem because they are happy, motivated, and full of energy. It's when the "crash" that follows that becomes literally lethal. I can only describe it as one who is high on speed and suddenly without warning crashes. They will sleep for hours on end. They will not get out of bed. They cry constantly. They don't believe that anyone understands.


No one knows what is wrong because just the other day they were happy, full of life and on top of the world. Being able to come out and tell someone they need help is terrifying. No one wants to be labeled. It is like a drug addict admitting they are on the course of death. There are drug interventions...I believe there should be interventions for depression as well.

I'm not saying Nadia may have had bipolar disorder, but in any case, both diseases are very similar and absolutely serious. The general community and health providers need to pay more attention to this disease. There are too many negative stigmas and trying to trust people to explain how they are feeling is almost out of the question. Who wants to be called 'crazy', 'psycho', or they 'have issues'? It just makes the person feel worse, they become more introverted and isolated, and it can spiral into what could eventually happen. DEATH.

This is what I wrote about Rylan Cotter on March 8, 2008:

Not long ago, I did a piece SEE HERE about Rylan Cotter. Another college woman found dead. Another mystery. Who were her friends? Who did she hang out with? Was it a random serial-type killing, or an act of rage from a boyfriend or ex?

This news is a no win situation. Yes, it is a good thing that she was not murdered, yet it is not a good news for her family to learn that she took her own life. If she had been murdered, and the killer was found and justice was served, the family might have some sort of closure. But with a suicide, the family is probably even more tormented because they are thinking, "What could I have done?" "Why couldn't/didn't I recognize something was wrong?"


For any family to lose their child, sibling, cousin, aunt, uncle...any relative, is worse than if that person were to die in an accident. It is something that haunts you. You will never know why, never know what was going on in their head. You will never know if there was anything you could have done differently had they known they were going through something that lethally serious. Happy people don't kill themselves.


This unfortunate closure to this Rylan's life hits home to me. Two years ago, my only uncle committed suicide at the age of 51, alone in his apartment. It was a couple days before anyone found him. He shot himself in the head, and the authorities found the movie "Crash" in the DVD player...the last thing he was watching before his demise. I know this haunts my mother, and it certainly haunts me.


I pray for Rylan's family, offer my condolences, and can only say, take it one day at a time. The pain will never go away, but you will be able to go on with your life. She will be the one that you will always hold dearness to your heart.

I feel the same way for Nadia and I hope that her family and friends will seek support and try to understand that it is not their fault. It is the fault of society and health providers that do not have the training or understanding of this deadly disease.

I pray for Nadia. She seemed like such a beautiful and wonderful person. My heart goes out to her and I hope that she has found peace and happiness with God, although she will be missed greatly.


Maybe her story will help others find help...maybe her story will alert others to recognize signs of this deadly atrocity.

Please see this link for more information and signs of mood disorders. Educating yourself and others can be a matter of life and death.

http://www.dbsalliance.org/



'I believe in my heart it's her'

Nadia father laments..."For me, it's been like a nightmare," he said. Deborah Chevalier, Ms. Kajouji's mother, was so distressed by the news, she was taken to the emergency room. "To my wife, it came as a very big shock," said Mr. Kajouji. "She's in pretty bad shape."


He said he wasn't surprised by the news, as the family discovered in the course of their search that Ms. Kajouji had been taking anti-depressants, struggling with school and undergoing counseling.


The family had said recently that on the day she disappeared, she had written about killing herself in a lengthy online conversation with a U.S. woman. She then told a roommate she was going skating, but she left her wallet behind. There had been no trace of her since."We are all human we should be able to help each other, apparently she was crying for help but no one gave a hand for it, that is so disappointing," said Mr. Kajouji.

(Entire Story Here)

Rest in Peace, Nadia. You will never be forgotten.