MY ACCOUNT OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT

Women Beware: The "Glass Ceiling" Can Crash Above You and Rip You Apart

There have been numerous times throughout my 10+ years of my career that I have experienced outright and often devious sexual harassment by male co-workers or supervisors. I have many instances, starting at the age of 17, but this job at age 27 tops them all. It got so out of control that I decided to keep a journal to protect my ass. Here are my notes.

ACT 1:

Opening scene: An up and coming environmental company. A young blonde woman, Michelle, is offered a job and with a promise of a serious career advancement due to her experience and intelligence. Her position was created for her and the possibilities were endless.

Key players in this workplace drama:

*TLL--CEO
*SS--direct manager
*AH/JR--male co-workers
*JS--female administrative assistant

June, 2001

• TLL tells me to wear something “sexy” so I look good for the clients at the ICPA Conference
  
• At the conference, TLL calls my hotel room at 8:00 a.m. and asks me to come up to his room because his wife didn’t pack him any toothpaste. I went up to his room with my toothpaste, and he answered the door in a towel. He proceeds to ask me to come in and to sit down. I gave him a weird look and he said, “C’mon…I’m not going to do anything!” He gives me that look like I am being ridiculous. I sit in the waiting room and he lights up a marijuana ‘one-hitter’. He tells me not to turn my head (which I did), disrobes and dresses in front of me. He tells me how much he likes me, how cool I am, and how I better never tell my mom about this. (At the time, my mom was TLL’s executive assistant).
  
• TLL emailed me insinuating that he wanted to start an affair with me. He said, “Do you want to play?” I pretended I didn't know what he meant. He later told me to delete everything off my computer because the Dell computer guys can see all the emails. After he explained what he meant in the email and I rebuffed him, he stated, “Damn! I’ve never been turned down before!”
  

August, 2001

• TLL had me in his office several times and commented on how good I looked and how he liked my clothing.
  
• He dropped pencils off the front of the desk and asked me to pick them up. I picked them up and he was looking at my chest and laughing.
  
• TLL asks me if he can use me as a visual for when he has sex with his wife because he’s not interested in her anymore.
  
• TLL asks me how many people I’ve slept with. I said, “none of your business”. Then he begins to brag that he’s been with hundreds of women. He tells a story of when he was in the Navy he and a friend had a contest to see if they could have sex with a different woman every day of the month during their time in their specified region. He told me he won the contest.
• A rumor is started in the office that TLL and I are having an affair. This literally affects my job status due to uncalled for “write-ups”, glares from co-workers, and outright disrespect from others in the company.
  

September, 2001

• TLL asks me to go outside to talk while he has a cigarette. He tells me that he is getting divorced and in a sexually suggestive tone said that I should “watch out for him”.
• TLL walks by me and whispers in my ear in front of other co-workers. I was embarrassed and humiliated because it suggested to the other employees that we were having a relationship.
• SS (my supervisor) tells me that I should go back to my husband (I was separated) and “get a baby in my stomach”.
• Since I was single, SS on daily or weekly basis would ask me if I’ve “gotten laid yet”.
  

October, 2001

• Out of my concern, I spoke with a male co-worker, JR regarding the rumors about me and how it was affecting my status at work. He said, “What do you expect? You’re a good looking girl.”
• SS would often scream and humiliate me in front of other employees for petty things. After mentioning that I was going to King’s Island on a date and with other friends for the evening, SS asks if I’m “going to get laid”. Later in the day, a studded condom package appears under my paperwork while I’m away from my desk.
  
• AH walks around the office with a picture of a naked porn star. He shows it to me. Then the other male co-workers stand around and gawk at the photo right in front of my desk.
  
• JS and my mom went to lunch and she told my mom that TLL and I were having an affair.
• I went to our HR Director and in confidence told her about the rumor and she had absolutely no reaction or anything to say about it. She did not take the matter seriously at all. The next week there was a company meeting and the Vice-President stated “we will not tolerate sexual harassment”, while looking at me directly.

I left my job a couple months later. Here are are two questions and answers for my exit-interview evaluation:

Q: What did you like LEAST about your manager?

A: I didn’t feel that I had his respect at all because of exaggeration and lies told to him by DK and JS.

Q: What would you have made your job more desirable?

A: Not being the object of two separate sexual rumors. I found this not only unprofessional and inappropriate, but also a mentally unhealthy and abusive work environment. At one point, I contacted two different attorneys, but I decided against pursuing any legal action.

TO ALL WOMEN WHO ARE SEXUALLY HARASSED AT WORK:

Don't put up with it. Write everything down completely detailed in a journal. Start sending out resumes and going on interviews. Tell the HR director about the sexual harassment situation and then quit your job and move on.

I would NEVER suggest to any woman to get an attorney and pursue legal action. It takes lots of money and many years of channeling through the legal system. And as we all know the victim is always scrutinized bit by bit. Women are always blamed and questioned. I don't know about you, but I refuse to put up with that. Be smart...move on. Learn from the experience.